Historical Post: Crazy by Definition is Not Me... or is it? Nov 2, 2015

Crazy by definition is not me…or is it?

November 2, 2015 by julieannhowe

One thing that has really been eating at me lately is a man’s desire to throw the term “crazy” around at a woman who is feeling emotions of any kind.  I’m mad at you because how you treated me felt awful, oh you’re crazy.  Your actions made me feel threatened, you must be crazy.  What you said hurt me, or insulted me, yeah that’s cause you are crazy!

This term is so demeaning and thrown around so easy because of a man’s inability to cope with the emotions a woman carries.  By creation, women are given the depth of human emotion that is unfathomable.  It truly amazes even me, as a woman the kind of feelings I can feel.  They can be confusing for even me, but with a little time I can normally sort out what I am feeling and make sense of my own position in any given situation.  I don’t, however, respond well to a man who doesn’t accept my initial emotion and just uses the harsh tone “crazy” to compensate for my feelings and make himself feel better.

The term crazy refers to “mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive manner.”  For further clarification, deranged when looked up means insane, and when clarifying the meaning of insane, the dictionary states: in a state of mind that prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction; seriously mentally ill.

Okay, in my lifetime, in the worst of circumstances, and even while drinking, I may have crossed into a crazed state, meaning more temporarily out of hand, but those moments were in most cases, driven by damn good reason and fleeting at best.  For the most part I pride myself for being very in control of my emotions.  My therapist says too much so, but so be it, I prefer to be the bubbly light-hearted person that most of you have witnessed if you meet me.

With that being said, yes I get mad.  I can get so angry I punch a wall or do something stupid like that, but again, normally with merit and reason behind it.  I don’t always understand my initial trigger, but eventually once I’ve taken time to “stew” on the events that lead up to my mood, I can come to terms with whatever it was that really was the source of my rage.

At times in my life, I have been seriously mistreated, and I’ve come to a place where I can say, I am no longer willing to accept it any longer. In turn, if we are spending time together, as friends, dating, or even just working together, and you use terms or phrases that are abusive or cruel, you will get told.  Just because I don’t appreciate how you chose to treat me, doesn’t mean I’m crazy.  It truly causes me to grit my teeth when someone uses the term crazy with me like it is no big thing, or a perfectly good explanation as to why I am upset.

With that said, I can do some crazy things… I have crazy moments, and momentary spots of insanity when I like someone I shouldn’t or act out on something I didn’t think through, but I normally can function with perfectly good perspective.  Don’t use the term crazy to describe your inability to work through things with me when I am feeling emotional. It’s cowardly and an easy out for something that is fairly easy to deal with.

For those of you who are being told regularly that you are crazy, step back and know that you are allowed your feelings, your emotions are yours to own and don’t be afraid of them.  Embrace them and know they are what makes you the very individual you are, and the very individual that so many love.

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